I’ll be taking a pseudo-serious look at brands performance on a weekly basis. This is more Cindy Adams than Forrester’s, but after branding companies and people for 15 years, design and branding is my outlook and how I measure things.

While I usually opt for a local coffee shop over Starbucks, I have to give Starbucks the best-dressed brand of the week for their “Starbucks asks Are You In?” campaign featuring MC Yogi. They offer a free cup of coffee in exchange for 5 hours of documented volunteer service in your community. How cool is that? They didn’t say, buy 5 coffees and you’ll get one free. They said do 5 hours of community service and you’ll get a cup of coffee. They can’t make me say “Grand-ay,” but they can make me go, “wow,” in a good way.

Then there other things that make me go “wow,” in a bad way. It’s the Obama memorabilia. We really need to reconsider this stuff. I mean this is The Historical Moment since the beginning of women’s suffrage and there is so much dreque (left).

But there is one person who got it right: Shepard Fairy. he designed an amazing poster (right). Thank you Shepard for spotlighting your otherwise underground talent for the benefit of one of the most historic moments of our life.

Orange you going to ask Tropicana why the heck they redid their packaging? Who are they marketing to? What happened to the good old loud orange and green? Supermarket brands need to have a degree of ugly. We put this stuff IN our bodies, so information and reading is important. It’s too pretty to read. Ask Milton Glaser, he’ll tell you the same. The new packaging is quiet. It whispers. It should have perfume or lotion coming out of it, not juice. Bad idea guys. Bad idea.

Let’s not forget the CNN/Facebook partnership. Bravo both of you. Convergence in such an intelligent way. We back projected the inauguration from our laptop onto the storefront screen. It was a little hard to type and keep the screen from shifting, so maybe a wireless keypad would have been a good recommendation for this to really work.

And Time Warner Cable, you get the worst. Absolute worst brand of the week. You’ll probably be on this list for a long time. You still think it’s ok for customers to put in multiple order numbers and for no one to get back to you. And then when you call to find out status, you don’t have record of any orders. It is unacceptable. Totally. We are tired of your monopoly. TWC policies and decision trees are outdated. They need to fix this. The consumer and people, in general, are getting their **** together. “Yes we can,” also means “Oh No You Don’t” to those big companies long ripping us off. They don’t even get an image.

And finally, let’s end on good note. Epson, we love you. You never over do it. We love your new Epsonality campaign. It’s very customer focused and link builds with other communities. That means you are selling your product by supporting our hobbies. Very smart.

Until Next Week….

Alona Elkayam.

A lot of people have been emailing me some random questions and inquiries on branding and marketing strategies in this unpredictable market. I’ve recommended a pathway to a bigger, stronger brand on a smaller budget:

1. Rewrite for the new economy.
Remember this isn’t 1998. The world changed overnight and so have your customers. Marketers with budgets try gimmicks to shock people when they need to generate business in steadier markets. Not in this landscape, not in your lifetime. Subservient Chicken and Etrade’s vomiting baby may have garnered awards in my industry, but it didn’t sell product (you’ll notice Etrade’s more informative tv commercial now). It’s time to reconsider your brand. How does your brand fit into today’s landscape? Think about what you are selling and how that makes sense for your customer in today’s market. Write these points down, refine them and make it known that you are not just a company, but an entity full of humans with a conscience who will serve up solutions based on current needs.

These points are your new mission. Build support internally and externally and commit to these new messages. It’s important.

After coming back from a job interview at a notable New York, hedge fund, my friend called me to tell me there was a sign in reception on a beautiful easel that announced their new mission and their new positioning.

Remember the world and it’s people have changed overnight. Your message and your brand must stay relevant. And if you are a financial company or a car company, it’s especially important to do this.

2. Be optimistic.
Optimistic. O-P-T-M-I-S-T-I-C. Beeee Optimistic!
Everyone knows the market is down and unpredictable and that things really suck. Shut up about it. Economic tsunami? Deal with it and uplift your fellow existing and potential clients with optimism. When confidence is restored, that is a good first step to creating new economies.

3. Invest your time.
Invest time in your customers if you don’t have your budget yet: If you are restructuring your budget and your numbers are scaling back the most effective and least expensive marketing tool is customer volunteerism. Create an online community around your service. Drupal, Facebook, Blog. You are the experts, so create topics, blogs, volunteerism around your brand. This may not be the only solution, but it’s a good start until you have your budget numbers.

4. Network:
Meet people and encourage your staff to create new relationships. At a time when people are restructuring, networking is a good foundation for Q2 an Q3 business. The networking isn’t under the auspices for nailing business, but with the intent to understand how other business has changed. We aren’t performing in a vacuum.

5. Continue to innovate:
Companies are not all collectively rolling over to die. There is still an economy and business to be had. Be what business you are in. A companys’ character can be created during tough times. And you’ll not be forgotten.